Saturday, June 6, 2009

#3 Testicle Festival, Olean,MO, June 6, 2009

Testicle Festival in Olean, MO June 6, 2009

As I quickly realized, this was more of a biker rally than a true food fest. In the picture on the right you can make out the small white trailer they were selling the Turkey Fries from. The rest is the line.

After an hour and ten minutes I approached what is affectionately referred to as the "Nut Hut". On the right the star of the show, Turkey Fries. Which were actually better with Dijon Mustard?

I was skeptical at best.

Video of the week. This band sort of sums up the crowd and feel of this festival. This is a cover of Merle Haggard's "Mama Tried". "Turned 21 in prison doing life without parole. No one could steer me right but Mama tried, Mama tried. Mama tried to raise me better, but her pleading I denied. That leaves only me to blame 'cause Mama tried".

I would like to start by thanking my 12 loyal readers for voting, and a special thanks to Anne for suggesting this fest. An extra special thanks to the 6 that had complete disregard for my well-being. I don't get scared easily but I truly wondered just what the heck I had gotten myself into with this one.

Not everyone was too bad, as I did speak to someone who called himself "Slim Shady" (he had a tattoo of himself with that nickname on his arm). He told me about how just 15 years ago all of the motorcycle gangs there wouldn't have been able to get together like this without "someone taking issue". After that I spoke with the local 2 man police department. Apparently the town of Olean only has about 200 residents (a fact the policeman said he had to verify by reading the city sign next time he leaves town).

If you actually read last week's write-up on Strawberry Festival, Testicle Fest was quite the opposite. They only had a few food trailers and people selling garage sale type wares. There was even a person selling hot dogs from their crock pot. All the warning signs were there: no email when I talked to the organizer on the phone, no website for the event, and the ever increasing number of bikers leaving as I was arriving. In fact I had to stop for directions at a gas station, and a patron's response was, "go down this road, take a right at the blinking yellow light and you'll find the crazies". Apparently there is also an advantage of having one road into town, as they stopped every car before town in order to charge a $5 admission charge for the event.

I have never eaten testicles before, and I guess I can check that off. They were crispy and pleasant at first, then they took on a chewy texture, then it was a little irony and gamey. Sorry. As I received my order, they announced there were only 50 orders left and there were hundreds of people behind me in the 2 block long line. I checked out the band, ate a funnel cake, and tried not to make too much eye contact (hence the lack of true crowd pictures). I got out of there like a bat out of hell, as the policeman told me there usually wasn't any trouble 'til after sundown. I can't wait until tomorrow for a family friendly horseradish festival; wish me luck in the recipe contest. You live, you learn, and you don't go back to Testicle Festival next year.


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  2. Awesome idea for the summer! You really need to come to Chicago for food festivals. There are a ton of local ones, and of course there's always Taste of Chicago. Here is a link with festivals. Not all of these are food related.
    I personally have enjoyed the Ribfest, Taste of Randolph, and Taste of Greektown. -Bobby

  3. Thanks Bobby. Chicago is a gold mine for food festivals. You can fill up every weekend within an hour of Chicago. I'm trying to focus on festivals I can go to in the morning and be back that evening. Although I'm sure I'll take a weekend up there this summer.

  4. Wow I just read all of your blogs so far. Great work! Very entertaining. Im sure you will enjoy the horshradish festival. Its supposed to be deliciousness. Make sure you get pics when the crown the horseradish queen! (or maybe its princess)

  5. Oh, man - just caught up on your blog... uh, thanks for the shout out and I am so very, VERY sorry that Testicle Festival was sketchy and scary! I truly thought it would just be a fun, silly event. Anyway... glad you survived, and congrats about your horseradish win! Very exciting. Looking forward to more updates... :)

  6. This is hilarious. Thanks for warning me off of the Testicle Festival. Great blog!

  7. Just found your blog about Festivals. Cool! Are you familiar with the Bean Fest and Championship Outhouse Races in Mtn. View, Arkansas? I think it's the end of October.

  8. Thanks Tessie for the heads up. The Bean Fest and Outhouse Run sounds just silly enough to visit. It is a 5 hour drive from STL and on Halloween Weekend, so I'm not sure I'll make it. But I will do my best. This site is devoted to its readers suggestions, heck that's what got me to the Testicle Festival in the first place.